New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
