My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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