I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
