I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
