if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
