Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
