Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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