I want to have your abortion
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
