if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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