Having a random hookup so left but love u
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
