why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
