Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
is wine microwaveable?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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