you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
