Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
