i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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