using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
