Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
