I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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