Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
