i barfeds in our rink
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
my shit smells like andre
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
