Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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