After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm passing your future prison.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
