You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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