once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize