i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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