I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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