You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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