I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
