I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
