No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
