i would punch a child for taco bell
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Randomize
