I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Randomize
