it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
