my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
