she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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