He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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