Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
