help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
