If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
