just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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