I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
