Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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