Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
