woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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