i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i already hear my dad disowning me
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You know, be my cock's hype man.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
