hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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