Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
