Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
