i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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