her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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